I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
