I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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