very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
