Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
