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Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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