HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
