Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
