i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
