oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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