How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
