Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
