i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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