He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
