Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
