Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
