are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
