Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Randomize
