You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
