Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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