is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You were trust falling into bushes
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
