I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
