he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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