Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
