just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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