Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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