Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
