She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
