What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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