Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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