he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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