No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
