yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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