I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
