3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We're facebook friends in real life
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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