At least make sure they are 18
Why
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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