She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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