lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
