Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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