areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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