I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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