So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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