You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Come share oat with me in your robe
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize