I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
