i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
