I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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