ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
