This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
