I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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