you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
home. puking in laundry basket.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
True strength comes from lack of pants
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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