my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
