Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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