Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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