This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
