dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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