The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
