just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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