i just sent this text using only my big toe
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
