They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
