i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
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