so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
