I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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