Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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