And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
