Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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