You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
