So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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