You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
sarcasm needs its own font
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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