if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
