Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
