Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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